'Mom, Owen and I are going to the baby department to get one of those plugs.' What? 'We need to go get one of those baby plug things to help that lady shut her baby up.' And a simple trip to Target takes on a whole new meaning as a search and rescue mission as the boys head off to locate a pacifier....

'Mom, your hair smells soooo good! It smells like church.' Well thank you, I think. 'It smells like when that guy throws the water at us in church.' 'Will, it doesn't smell like the water guy throwing, it smells like the bathroom at church.' 'No Owen, it smells like the praying part of church with the water-throwing guy!' 'No Will, Mom's hair smells like the bathroom with the flowers at church...' It started out as such a nice thing...

'Hey Mom I just took a picture of a rabbit.' Mumble, mumble, mumble...yeah, okay. 'It was the cutest little thing.' Yeah? 'It was eating this big green tomato and it looked sooo happy.' Yeah? That's good... 'When I tried to get close, it was all scared and ran into the fence and I think it might have hurt itself.' Wait a minute...what? 'The rabbit...in the garden...eating the tomato...I think it hurt itself trying to get out of the garden.' WHAT RABBIT?! 'The one in the vegetable garden. Weren't you listening to me?' Yes, I was listening to you! How did it get in the garden? 'Well, I left the door open so they wouldn't be hungry.' Owen Bosworth - about to be killed.

'Edward Cullen Vampire has a new movie?!!! And you won't take me?!!!! How am I going to learn anything if you won't take me?!!!' Will Bosworth. Apparently the mysteries of how to grow up as a 'real boy' are all hidden in the Twilight series, sigh....

'Hey Mom, when does my soccer start again?' Sometime in August, I think. Why? 'I'm going to play like an Italian so I can get those special kicks.' What? 'Yeah, watch!!!' Grabs his head and falls to the floor...writhing in fake pain. 'See, I can be an Italian too!' Owen Bosworth...watching too much World Cup, me thinks.

'WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT LOVE?! I know all about love! It's kissing and hugging and, and, and...It's putting a scarf about a girl's eyes and taking her to .....something like rock climbing or somewhere else!' Will Bosworth. 'Um dude, that's called kidnapping.' Alex Bosworth.

'MOM, THE TOILET IS FLOODING!!!' Squish, plunge, squish, splash, plunge...gurgle,gurgle, gurgle, flush (that, of course, is the sound of plunging). Who's the man?! 'Mom, you're like the plunging queen of America.' Owen Bosworth. Imaging what that tiara would look like....

'Lord Jesus, thank you for people who make food. I make food. My mom used to make food but now she just makes grill stuff. I like it when she grills onions. And I like it when she grills other stuff too, but where's the beef stew? She used to make beef stew.' Um Will, can we move along? Is there something else you'd like to thank God for? 'Yeah. Corn season. Mom says you shouldn't eat corn unless it's corn season. And peaches. I LOOOOOVVVEEEE peaches. Thank you for peach season! And please help Alex to grow. She's real short. In your name we pray. Amen.' Will Bosworth. Obviously God has a sense of humor or this boy wouldn't be here...

'Mom, can I tell you a story?' Okay. 'There once was a boy named Will. He had many, many, many girlfriends but the one he loved best was called Megan. Megan loved him soooo much - well, they all loved him soooo much, but Megan was the best. So he went out on a date with Megan and she took him to the carwash because he loves the carwash. The end.' Will Bosworth. Such a romantic...

Okay, what do we know about manatees? 'They're camels.' Um, what? 'They're camels.' I'm not following you. 'They come up to the top of the water to breathe air. They have live babies, not eggs. They have warm blood. They're caaaaammmmmmmeeeeellllllllsssss.' Ooooh, mammals? 'Oh yeah, that's it.' Will Bosworth. Sometimes my science lessons work and sometimes....