ATTENTION: it is Kindergarten Sunday today. My kids are still asleep and haven't had a chance to charm me with their ways yet so I will share some Kindergarten happenings instead. These are not quotes from my kids.

So the three types of matter are solid, liquid and what? 'Jell-O!' Scientific Kindergardener. I think he just figured out the fourth type of matter.

Who can give me an example of a solid? 'Um, I think a toilet is a solid. And cupcakes. Cupcakes are mostly a solid.' Little Man Kindergardener. I'm pretty sure I know what the priorities in his life are...

Just giving you a heads' up Alex, there are seeds in these grapes. 'What do you mean seeds?' I mean seeds. As in seeds. 'Mom, grapes don't have seeds.' Actually they do. We just always buy seedless ones. So just be careful and spit them out. 'Why would I spit them out?' Because they're seeds. 'Why can't I just swallow them?' I don't know. Just spit them out. 'But I swallow watermelon seeds.' You swallow watermelon seeds?! Why?! 'Because why not?' Because they're seeds! 'So?' ALEX, PEOPLE DON'T SWALLOW SEEDS! JUST SPIT THEM OUT! 'I think I like my way better. Yours is too much work.' FINE! JUST SWALLOW THE DAMNED SEEDS! Alex Bosworth...walks away smiling knowing that, yet again, she has engaged the mother in a battle the mother can never win. And the life force dwindles just a little bit more....

'Mom, Owen punched me across the face. Aaaaahhhhh!' What did you do? 'I pushed him down.' No, what did you do BEFORE he punched you across the face? 'I stabbed him.' I think punching you is an appropriate response. 'You are a mom. Moms are supposed to say GO TO YOUR ROOM OWEN AND DON'T PUNCH YOUR BROTHER ACROSS THE FACE!' What page is that on? 'What?' What page is that on in your rule book? I have to go re-read it. I don't remember that one at all. 'Mom, are you messing with my head?' Pretty much, yeah. 'Well I'm hungry and Owen took my grapes. You should send him to his room for that....' Will Bosworth. Thinking he can skip law school and go right into practice...

'Something is wrong.' Owen

'The shirt is okay. But the shorts don't match.' Will

'I like the shoes.' Owen

'You need earrings. But not big ones.' Will

'IT'S THE LIPS! Red doesn't match all this.' Owen

Um, get out of my closet and leave me alone. I know this is hard to believe, but I've been dressing myself successfully for a few decades now.

'What does successfully mean?' Owen

It means good. I've been dressing myself 'GOOD' for a few decades now.

'I don't actually believe any of that.' Owen Bosworth.

'My elbow has blood coming out of it (pointing to ankle). My leg has blood coming out of it. My finger has blood coming out of it. I think my tongue has blood coming out of it. I don't have much blood left. I think the rule says I can't go to school.' I don't even know what that means. 'you have to have some pounds of blood to go to school and I know I have grams instead.' Will Bosworth. With less than 14 hours left of his school year, he is still trying out new ways to stay home.

'DON'T KISS ANY BOYS!!!' Will Bosworth. Yelling out the front door after sister Alex as she leaves for school in the morning. I do believe I saw her shrink a little....

'I want mini-wheats for breakfast.' We're out of milk. How about toast? 'Oh come on Liz, you can do better than that.' 5:37 a.m. Will Bosworth gets sent to his room for the first time today...might be a new record.

So they rounded up all of the guys involved. The Sheriff's department and the Police department had a very busy day. 'Mom, what are you talking about?' A bunch of bad guys were arrested in Naperville last week. 'Why?' Well, they were selling stuff that they weren't supposed to. 'What were they selling, refrigerators?' Um, okay. Yes they were selling illegal refrigerators. 'Oh no, that was them making very bad choices, right? They should have been selling the refrigerators out of a store and not out of their houses, right?' Yeah, right... HEADLINE: Naperville Police and County Sheriff's Department bust an illegal refrigerator ring! The people are now safe!!

'Mom, if the ceiling fan cuts Will's head off then there will be two Wills but only one of them can see.' Owen Bosworth...plotting and scheming the brothers demise yet again.