'Mom, I think you should be on American Idol.' Oooohhhh, that's so nice. I'm really not any good though. 'Yeah, I know. You would be one of those funny bad people that make people laugh.' Will Bosworth. How many times can you disown a child...?

'So Stanley is older than you?!' What are you talking about? Who's Stanley? 'That guy.' What guy? 'The guy withe the cup. You said his cup hasn't visited Chicago since before you were born.' That is correct! Stanley and his cup have not been to Chicago since before I was born. That's why it's so exciting! 'But you're from Boston. When was the last time Stanley and his cup went to Boston?' Will Bosworth...kind of sucking the joy out of the moment.

'How many days in a month?' Owen. '32.' Will 'So that's 40 days in a month and a half. So if we practice soccer every day and she gives us dollars then we'll be rich and can buy a tv when school starts.' Owen. Slightly-misguided 6 year olds...very afraid of what these planning sessions will morph into by the time they are 10, however.

'Will, if you stick it up your nose, it'll come out your mouth. Or maybe your eye.' Owen. 'What about your ear? I think it might come out your ear too.' Will. 'Um noooo, Mom said those doctors are call eyes, mouth, nose. No ears!' Owen. Don't know what they were planning to stick up the nose, but more than a little afraid of the reasoning used here.

What do you want to do this summer? 'Well, I really want to break my arm so I can get a cast.' Will Bosworth. I guess you've got to have goals...

Owen, where did you get that bump on your head? 'Well I think I swallowed a lot of water in the pool yesterday and it all went to my head.' I guess that's one theory.

'My thumb on my foot is the biggest, but the thumb on my hand is the smallest. I wonder why.' Owen Bosworth. Anyone?

It's soccer! You're supposed to kick the ball, not carry the ball! 'No, we're supposed to win! When I kicked the ball we didn't win. But when I carried the ball, we won!' Owen Bosworth. Rugby maybe?

'Mom, when were you 6 1/2?' Do you mean what year? Ummmmmm, 1971. 'Did they make pots then?' Yes, they made pots way back then. 'Weren't you lonely?' Why would I be lonely? 'Because there weren't any people here yet.' Will Bosworth. Did I ever tell you about my good friends Adam & Eve....?

'Mom, am I a Norman?' Um, what? 'Am I a Norman?' I don't know what that means. 'NNNNNNooooorrrrrrmmmmmaaaaaannnnnn...am I a NORMAN?!' What's a Norman? 'It's this church that Tori's soccer girl goes to.' Ohhhhh, Mormon! No, you're not a Mormon. Owen Bosworth.

'So Mom, is there such an animal as a mammal that breathes water?' No. 'Mom, is there such an animal as a bird that breathes water?' No. 'Mom, is there such an animal as a mammal that lays eggs?' Well, the platypus is something like that but I think it's classified as a marsupial. It has all the characteristics of a mammal but lays eggs. 'Um, the answer I was looking for was no.' Will Bosworth...some teachers just can't handle the truth. (this conversation took place at 5:30 a.m. between Will - who was standing next to the bed - and his mother - who was still lying with eyes closed, in the bed.)