'Hugely overweight guy. On a motorcycle. Without a helmet. Smoking a cigarette. I count about 9 ways for him to die right now without really looking closely at the individual pieces of the big picture.' Alex Bosworth. I couldn't have said it better myself.

'Mom, President Obama was wrong.' Why? 'Remember when he was on TV and he said that every time you try something new you're going to be bad at it until you practice and practice?' Yeeeesss? 'This is my first time with this new egg-breaking way and I'm really good at it. Think I should call him and tell him?' Let this be a lesson everyone...you should cook with your kids! You never know what might come up.

'Mom, how much minutes till the morning?' It is the morning now. 'No, how much minutes until the light comes out?' Well, it's going to rain all day so the light may not come out. 'Doesn't the book say that if the light doesn't come out we don't go to school?' What book? 'Um, the RULE BOOK, Mom' (barely able to tolerate my ignorance) Will Bosworth. Another reason to hate rainy days....

'What did you put in my coffee?' Heavy whipping cream. 'What's heavy whipping cream?' The stuff that I make whipped cream out of. We're out of milk. It should be amazing, all thick and creamy. 'Yeeeaaahhh, I don't know. Are you sure it's not some goat rice soy breast milk? I'm not sure about the stuff you substitute with. I'm not drinking it.' I promised not to quote the husband, but I just couldn't resist this one....